What The Smeg Have You Done Holly?
by SherlockReid
Summary: When a power blip causes Rimmer to turn off, Holly turns him back on again but Rimmer's not quite how he expects to be. This is my first Red Dwarf fic. It's a stand alone fic. Please read it and review it. Thanks


**A/N: This is my first Red Dwarf fic and I really hope I got the characters right. It's set where Rimmer is still Soft-Light and Holly is female.**

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Lister had left Rimmer in his quarters to go to the Drive room when the power blip occurred.

One of the first things Lister heard after the blip was a scream.

Rimmer's scream.

Followed by a door slam and a shout.

"What the smeg have you done Holly?"

He could tell something had gone wrong but what.

"Holly," Lister called, "When was Rimmer's last save?"

"Yesterday. He confessed something that was on his mind then told me to save him so he wouldn't lose the knowledge in the future," Holly replied.

"At least he's not only just found out that he's dead. What did he confess?" Lister asked.

"He told me I couldn't tell anybody," Holly responded.

"Where'd he shut himself?" Lister asked.

"In your quarters," Holly answered, "Well at least he's got to let you in," she smiled.

"Yeah," Lister laughed, "Oh and Holly next power blip try not to smeg anything up."

He headed back to their room, the door was locked.

"Rimmer," he called.

"Go away," was the reply.

"I can just unlock the door you know."

"No. Don't."

"Why?"

"You'll see how much of a smeg up Holly's made to me."

"C'mon man. It can't be that bad. What'd she do put you in the wrong coloured suit?"

"No, er, yes. Sort of."

"Can I come in yet? It's me own smeggin' room."

"No!"

"You can't lock me out me own room. Door unlock."

"Door lock. You're not Lister."

"What could possibly be that wrong that I can't see?"

"Do you promise not to laugh or tell Kryten or Cat?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Door unlock. I'll let you in."

"Finally."

Lister walked in, "Holy smeg. I can see why you screamed."

Rimmer was sat on the floor in a knee-length, blue dress.

"Holly won't change it," Rimmer announced pulling up his knees and putting his head on them.

"Door lock and only unlock for me or Rimmer," Lister said, " Oh and Rimsy."

"Yes."

"You might not wanna sit like that."

"Why?"

"I can see your undies."

"Oh," Rimmer flattened his legs before screaming again.

"Calm down man, I'll be death if you keep doing that."

"I'm sorry. It's just. If I, if I had known that this would happen I wouldn't, I wouldn't have saved. I'd, I'd have let future me's figure out for them selves."

"Figure out what?"

"Oh, Holly's not told you. I guess she's not a total smeg up."

"Well."

"I'm not telling you."

"What? Why?"

"A. It's none of your business and B. You wouldn't care anyway."

"I have pretty forced my way in here 'cause you screamed, due to Holly's smeg up, which was caused by your confession which you won't tell me and I won't care. After all that," Lister shouted, "I'll just go then, and hot ask Holly to sort you out. Door unlock," he headed out, "Oh and Rimmer you look good in blue," he teased.

Rimmer screamed again, "Lister," he called, "Get your smegging arse back here and I'll tell you okay?"

Lister had only gone around the corner, "Okay," once inside he locked the door and waited.

"Well, I-urm-I am not like you. Wait no not in an I'm-dead-you're-alive way. In a different way," Rimmer finally admitted.

"Whoa you're not female, are you?" Lister asked, nodding at the dress.

"What? No!" Rimmer decided to explain the yesterday, "Yesterday I wanted to see a particularly nice dream again, so I got out the dream recorder and watched it. Then I had the thought that only you'd seen Low Rimmer, so I looked him up. There was one hit. A flash back dream, I watched it and noticed something. There was one thing that Low Rimmer and High Rimmer had in common that I'd not realised myself."

"Oh and you then told Holly and got her to save you," Lister finished.

"Yes."

"Well, what was it?"

"Oh erm. You know what I'm suddenly really tired," Rimmer said, laying on his bunk, under his covers, with his back to Lister.

"No you're not getting away that easily," Lister laughed, "If you don't get up I'm joining you in your bunk. I know how much you hate that."

"Oh," piped up Holly, "I'd have thought he'd enjoy it."

"Holly don't you have anything better to do that watch us," Rimmer called not turning away from the wall.

"Yeah Hols smeg off," Lister chimed in.

"Okay I'm only trying to help," Holly answered before disappearing.

"Wait, Holly said you'd enjoy me sharing a bunk with you but I know you hate it, unless," Lister was cut off there.

"Unless, I pretend I hate it 'cause I don't want you to know I like it. Have you pieced it together yet Listy?" Rimmer finished.

Rimmer turned over now so Lister could clearly see the crimson red blush now on his cheeks.

"You don't want to share a bed with me 'cause you thought I'd find out you enjoy in and Holly put you in a dress," Lister said.

"For IO's sake Lister. I'm gay and I smegging love you," Rimmer shouted.

"Oh well that explains the enjoyment but not the dress," Lister declared.

"I'm not actually sure about the dress. I'd hazard a guess it is something to do with Low Rimmer or the fact that women wear dresses not men," suggested Rimmer, "And I understand perfectly if you want to move quarters?"

"Why would I?" Lister questioned.

"Well I guessed you wouldn't want to share a room with a gay hologram that fancies you," Rimmer answered.

"Why wouldn't he?" Holly inputted.

"Smeg," Lister muttered.

"He's straight, think about Kochanski. How come you remembered that long enough to put me in a dress but not now?" Rimmer shouted.

"I put you in a dress in the hopes that this would occur not because Lister's-"

Lister cut Holly off, "Smeg off Holly. I can sort this.

"Rimmer I wouldn't want to move rooms 'cause mate I feel the same."

"Really?" Rimmer asked," You're not pulling my leg?"

Lister knelt and kissed Rimmer, well as well as you can kiss a soft light, "Yes I really do. No joke."

"Then feel free to join me in my bed but don't complain if there's a holographic arm through your chest when you wake up," Rimmer smiled, "Oh. Holly thank you and could you please put me in some pyjamas, mens."

"Of course," Holly replied, "Glad your two figured it out with a little help from me."

"If that was a little help I'd hate to have seen a lot," Rimmer stated.

"Holly before you go. Don't tell the others."

"I won't," Holly answered before fading off the screen.

"Lights off," Rimmer called.

"Rimmer," Lister said.

"Yes," Rimmer replied.

"If you found out yesterday why'd you object to sharing a bunk before?" Lister asked.

"Well I guessed I had an inkling from before then, dreams of us and such but High Rimmer and Low Rimmer sorta clinched the deal," Rimmer answered, "Night Listy."

"Night Rimsy."

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**A/N: Please review it. As I said this is my first so yeah, hope you enjoyed it :)**


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